i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Randomize
