just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
How's work?
Spinning.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
