We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
