But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
