I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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