8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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