and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
