McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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