Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
