I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
The beer is more important than you right now.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
