i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize