And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
