How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
