after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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