That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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