At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
