just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
