Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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