I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Don't tell me you're on acid again
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
