currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
