I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
