Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
