i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Randomize