i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
