I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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