his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize