She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
