I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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