I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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