soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
