You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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