how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize