Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize
