is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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