Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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