I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
