..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize