Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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