I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
