I'm lost and stupid without you.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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