Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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