conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
