Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize