We should be called the Road Head Warriors
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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