I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
