and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
