He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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