omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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