my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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