Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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