Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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