This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
