And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Randomize
