I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
