i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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