I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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