great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
