That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I need a burrito and a hug.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
